Sunday, June 22, 2008

Where Did This Unmotivated Apathy Come From?

I have now been home from the beach for more than twenty-four hours, and I still haven't unpacked. I should have done it last night, but I didn't feel like it. I justified that because it took so stinking long to get home from Alabama. This morning I went to church, then I ate lunch and shortly after that went to the mansion to work a twilight party, and now I am back in my apartment doing nothing but sitting here compulsively checking my facebook (oh the withdrawals I had) and I still don't have any desire to unpack. I have no motivation whatsoever, and for some reason it doesn't bother me.

Tonight I think my excuse is going to be that the twilight party was too much right after coming off vacation. I also haven't given a tour in about three weeks and tonight I gave three one right after the other, so it was a little more trying on me than usual. I realize I'm just making excuses, but as long as I make myself feel better I'm okay with that. Eventually I'm going to have to get my clothes out of my suitcase and wash them, but as long as I have stuff to wear I guess I can leave the bag packed.

I'm really hoping that tomorrow I will have more motivation because this is ridiculous and also very sad. Right now I would really like to sleep, but I can't even find the motivation to get off the couch and get ready for bed. I'm so incredibly pathetic!

Thank goodness that tomorrow my life will be pretty much back to normal. I will have a schedule again and my normal commitments, and hopefully the routine will help me to stop this mess. For now I'm going to try really hard to get to bed and wake up a different person tomorrow. If I don't, I may be in trouble.

1 comment:

a girl named heather said...

dear kindall,
i cannot believe the twilight party was last night.
i don't have a calendar (it's summertime) and thus did not know. how sad i am right now. :( reslife office loves you. i had to be 'let go' for working too many hours. but i will be in to help out from time to time.

bah

love you
see you soon!