Thanksgiving Recap and Catch-up

I should definitely be doing something else right now, like the many papers I have due over the course of the next few weeks, but instead I want to take some time to recap a little and get some of this junk out in the open. It's not that anything exciting or phenomenal has happened, but I just don't want to do that other stuff yet, so I am writing instead.

My Thanksgiving break was wonderful. I wish it wasn't over because I don't want to be back at school, but I missed the people in my dorm, so I'm really excited about being back. There is a girl on my floor from China who is studying abroad, and she got to come home with me. It was really cool to have her there, and I think she enjoyed it too. I learned a lot about China, and I also learned that I don't want to be Chinese because they are pretty strict.

My nose ring had to be taken out because it was like infected. That kind of makes me mad because it's been two months and I've kept it clean, but I had to take it out, and I'm really hoping that once it heals the hole will still be there and I won't have to have it pierced again. I think I would do it again though because I liked it, and now that it's gone, I miss it.

I think I'm going to run a half marathon in March, at least that's the plan. I was going to do one my junior year of high school but it turned out to be the same day as prom so I quit training. I'm kind of excited about it, especially since I have three friends who are planning to run it with me and we can train together, but at the same time, I ran a little ways today, and I always finish thinking why do I do this to myself?! Anyway, we'll see how that goes, and maybe in March I'll have a sweet post about how fit I am and how far I can run!

On a more important note, I went to church at Midtown today because I felt like I needed a day to come back and rest and get back into the swing of Belmont, and I'm so glad I did because the sermon was wonderful and seemed to be directed right at me. The preacher talked about Nehemiah being faced with a decision to live out of fear or faith, and then talked about how we face that decision all the time in our lives. God showed me some areas in which I have been living in fear, and I realized I don't have to live that way. I have to trust God to take care of things, and then the outlook doesn't seem so bad. I'm really excited because I can see God working, and this is probably the most important thing I have to write about today.

This has been a really random post, and I feel like I've just jumped from one topic to another (because I have), but I have so much to do that I can't take my mind off of it enough to just write. So here I must say goodbye and begin writing about China and their brief period of naval dominance. Woo hoo.

One is the Loneliest Number...

I haven't been able to post anything on here in so long because I never have time, and I wish I had time to catch up on everything that has been going on, but even now my time is limited. I wanted to post something on here though because I've been thinking weird things (that isn't a good way to put whatever it is that's going on, but it's all I can come up with, so there it is).

On Sunday, I will have been single for nineteen years. First of all, I realize that sounds very dramatic because I have only been dating age for a few of those years, but when I start thinking, that is the thought, so it is important to have that phrase out in the open. It has never really bothered me before to be single. It's not that I don't want to date or have a boyfriend, it's just that I don't base my life and my success or happiness on whether or not there is a guy in my life. Lately, however, I have just been wishing that I had a guy. I think it's mainly because I have friends who get a lot of phone calls from boyfriends "just to check in" and I want that. I want someone to call or call me every day just to see how things are going. I know I could have a relationship like that with a girl who is a friend, but it's not the same. I also know this shouldn't tear me up like it does, but I think I just want to feel loved. I know there are a lot of people who care about me, but it seems like the boyfriend has the role of making that known constantly. I also tend to idealize relationships because I've never had one, so I'm pretty sure I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should. My life is also free from boy complications which are inevitable, even in good relationships.

I'll be okay, but for now I'm just sulking a little. Someday I will find that guy who calls me just to check up or say hello, and when I do, I know there will be a reason for these nineteen years of singleness, but until then, I'm going to continue knowing that it's okay to be single. I'm not alone by any means, and there are lots of people who love me, so I will be content with that and keep waiting!