Saturday, July 26, 2008

I May Not Be A College Kid Much Longer

I know I've said since I started college (and even before) that all I really want out of life is to work at Starbucks. I'm still sure I would be perfectly happy with that, but I'm afraid I may be following through with that plan earlier than expected. I waited a little long to start applying for student loans I'll admit, but now I've been in the application process for a while and nothing has been approved. The bill for next semester is due August 5, and so far I don't have the money for it. I know there is still time, but I'm just getting a little antsy.

I feel like it's important to consider the idea that something might go wrong and I might not be able to go to school next semester. I don't think that's what will happen, but if it does, what will I do? I guess the first thing I'll have to do is go home. That sounds a little ridiculous considering I'm one of few students who don't come home after freshman year, but I may be one who turns right around and moves back in with the family. That's a little scary. And then there's the question of school. Do I wait a semester, apply for loans, and come back to Belmont? Or do I spend some time at Vol State or Tech (which is a nightmare in my mind)? And of course, I will have trouble living at home and working anywhere because I'll be so far away that gas will take my entire paycheck, but I can't afford to live in Nashville.

I know that I'm going to be taken care of. I've been so well-provided for this summer that I can't question God's plan or provision, but it's still strange to be so uncertain. I guess it shouldn't be strange because my life is pretty much defined by uncertainty, but I'm just so curious because I don't know the plan. So for now I'm just going to wait it out. Until August 5 rolls around I'm going to keep living like I have been and assuming I will still be a student next semester. If that doesn't happen though, I am going to know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, even if I don't understand why. And if I end up working at Starbucks this fall, I'm just going to enjoy having fulfilled my life's dream.


Amanda said...

Let's go have coffee tonight. Can we chat? Thanks. :-) I like you.

a girl named heather said...

kindall duke. you're gonna be okay. this is intense though. let's talk soon :)