I'm in the weirdest funk ever, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Somehow I find myself completely at peace on so many levels but only because I'm using the peaceful feeling as a defense mechanism to stave off the chaos in my life. I'm not sure how it happened or why, but it's weird.
Figuring out whether or not I'm going to stay in the honors program is proving to be a difficult task. My leaning is to leave, but I don't want to make that decision without having carefully considered all my other options. I don't think I want to put the stress of studying abroad this upcoming fall on myself, and I think it would be healthier to wait until the spring. But if I've done 2 years of honors, why not finish? And then there's the fact that nobody cares if I graduated honors. We'll see.
In the weirdness, I feel like I'm a little detached from everything. So to those of you who I feel like I'm not connecting to, I apologize. I don't know what's up really, but I'm working on it. I still love you all and appreciate you.
Maybe it's a peaceful feeling, and maybe it's a numb feeling. Either way I'm finding it helpful as well as distancing, and I want to figure it out. Sorry for the rambling craziness; I wish it wasn't so representative of my mind right now.