Lessons from Risky Business

Yesterday afternoon, I finally got around to watching Risky Business, and I picked up a few life lessons from young Tom Cruise:

1. Don't trust a ho.
2. I didn't dream big enough when my parents left me home alone.
3. I didn't need more extra curriculars and a higher ACT/SAT score for Princeton, but I should have started running a brothel.
4. Tom Cruise has lost all credibility (if I had any doubt).
5. If you sink a Porsche in a lake repairs won't take long, and your brothel will more than cover the cost.
6. Stay away from guys named Guido.
7. My grandparents must not have loved me because I never got a huge savings bond.
8. I don't like the name Lana.
9. My brother isn't the only teenage boy with an abundance of idiot friends.
10. Never trust a ho.